


Enough

by misplacedkisses



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, Fluff, asexual spectrum turgon, nonexplicit mentions of sexual activity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 09:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misplacedkisses/pseuds/misplacedkisses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You are beautiful,” it sounded like an apology on his lips.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> There's been a lot of talk about asexual representation in fics lately, and I'm kind of still navigating starting to identify as somewhere on the asexual spectrum myself. But I liked the idea of asexual Turgon and really understanding Elenwe.

He loved her a long time a long time before he married her. They were in the garden, but he was too afraid the urge would pass to go back to one of their rooms.

“Are you sure?” she whispered, “We love each other, that is enough for me. We don’t have to do this.” She was beautiful in the mixing light, he traced a strand of hair as it fell across her collarbone and dropped over the curve of her breast. He leaned over and placed a kiss on her neck.

“I want to be married to you. I think, now, I can marry you. Will you have me?”

The enthusiasm of her yes knocked them off the bench, but he just laughed and when she began to take off her dress he reached out to touch her.

 

Findekano caught him on the way to tell father, came bounding up flush with the excitement of a new adventure.

“Ahh, Turukano, one day you must come with us, Maitimo fell off his horse! He is fine, but Irisse might never stop laughing and--Oh!” He held his brother’s gaze, almost defiant. But Findekano’s face softened and he laughed.

“We could have had a celebration, you know. But it is not too late! I will see if we can muster up a feast on short notice.”

Explaining the order of events, he tried to tell father, would be less awkward than disappointing hopes. It was the effect of marriage, not the act of marriage, he wanted. They loved each other, why was that not enough?

 

He woke slowly, in a daze, pleasantly throbbing. She was already awake, singing softly, warm in his arms. They had been married four months, untouched. His hips twitched forward and she stopped singing with a small gasp.

“Oh!” she peeked over her shoulder, “Do you? Do you want to?”

“I,” he cut off, breath hitching as she turned in his arms, “Okay. Okay, yes. Yes.”

 

The scent of sex hung heavy in the air. Humid. Oppressive. He wanted to turn his face away from it. She lay next to him, flushed, catching her breath. The sheets were damp beneath him. His hair was a mess. They lay in silence.

“Go,” she said, leaning over to kiss his brow, “Go, draw a bath.”

He sat up, turned half towards her, eyes fixed on the wall before him, “Do you?” but she was already up, slipping her robe on, “No, I’m famished, I must eat. No, have your bath, we’ll go to the gardens later.”

 

The water was too hot, and he stayed until it was too cold. His hair was dry before he could open the door to their room again.

The sheets had been changed and the curtains were all open. She was at the mirror, pinning her hair back. It was still damp. The breath he drew was damnably uneven.

“Come on, if we hurry we can see the fountain during the mingling.” He dressed with his back to her.

 

“I am happy,” he could not meet her eye, but he reached for her hand and she continued, “I am happy with you.” Tears welled up, unbidden.

“You are beautiful,” it sounded like an apology on his lips.

“I do not need you to touch me to prove that.”

 

She was warm beneath the thin material of her nightgown, soft, alive. Years passed, she had not said a thing. He leaned down to kiss her, then drew back and pulled his shirt off.

“What are you doing?” she tried to sit up, but he nudged her down again as he settled between her legs. His hands trailed up legs, dragging her dress along until and he paused, thumbs rubbing circles along the inside of her thighs.

“I want you to feel good. Without me. But with me. I want,” his grip tightened and he grimaced. “I only want to give you pleasure.”

She sat up and kissed him, soft and lingering. “You do not have to do this. I don’t want you to think you have to do this for me. I have your love, that is enough, that is always enough.”

“I want to give this to you,” he said, kissing her deeply in answer.

Under his hands, she shook apart.

 

For a while it was easier.

 

“Do you want a child?” They were in bed, reading. It was a quiet night.

“Do you want children?” her tone was sharp, unexpected, biting.

“What?” he stuttered. She snapped her book shut.

“Do you want children? Or do you just think you need to give me children?” he could not speak, he could not, he-- “You are so busy feeling guilty about the things you think I should have that you cannot give me that you miss that I am not asking for them!” Her voice was broken and her tears spilled over, “Do you think I do not feel guilty as well?”

“But-but why? Why would you?” He was shaking, heart racing, breath coming in uneven rushes.

“Because you keep forcing yourself to do things that make you uncomfortable for me! All I want, all I have ever wanted, is just your love! I keep trying to tell you, I’m not asking for more than you are! I love you, you fool, just as you are, I always have.”

“A daughter,” he was crying now, and kissed her hand with wet lips, “I want a daughter, and if she could have but half your sweetness she would be the fairest child in all of Aman.” He laughed, shaky, weak, “Elenwe, what did I ever do to deserve you?” she tucked herself into his chest and laughed even as her tears wetted his shirt, “You have all my love, you are my heart,” and he pressed a kiss to her temple.

**Author's Note:**

> We could be tumblr friends too? [This is me!](http://mammawidow.tumblr.com/)


End file.
